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Bad Sausage

Today on my way into work I stopped by the bagel shop (where I eat all the time) and picked up a sausage dog and a coffee to try and bolster myself for what was promising to be a stressful day at work, with a client coming in to see work and talk to us, and with me knowing that we were nowhere near finished and with a 2-week launch window, I was anxious (and frankly, I still am). Turns out, that sausage was tainted and it sent me into a GI tailspin. I had to duck out home and spent a painful afternoon in the restroom trying to purge and recover, and deal with my simultaneous anxiety and stress over business. The signs of the recession are painfully close, and while we’re still building our business and trying to reach profitability, I got news this morning that Factor 5 (the large video game company in the same building as us) went belly up. I guess that explains why there’s so much parking in the parking lot.
It’s just tough – it’s hard enough being a new novice entrepreneur in a good economy, but to start a business in a downturn is downright freaky. I will keep up the faith, as I have two employees and frankly it’s easier to try and make our business run than to find a job, and I just don’t want back into the rat race. I am feeling the effects of overwork stress, working 14 hour days at times, and missing my free time. I feel like I’m running around like crazy and we have so far to go before it’s all working along at its own pace. Added to the stress, we go to Hawaii at the end of the month for a couple of weeks, and I’m not sure how we’re going to make it all work. I guess it’s a trail run for distance management.
Now I get the news tonight about LJ, and again the anxiety hits. When do we hit bottom? When does all of this shake out, and can we keep on going in the meanwhile. I’m fortunate to have a bit of a safety net, but it’s still tough to just leak money without feeding enough back in to balance the sheets. I just have to keep on breathing and pushing forward, and keep the faith that it’ll all work out.
Today was like my body’s way to enforce perspective, however, much like my shoulder. I’m getting biofeedback telling me to stop pushing my body so hard, and thus my mind and soul. I have to start my yoga practice again, or something. That, and make sure I stay connected with my kids, my family, and my friends. My apologies, by the way, if you haven’t seen much reply to my personal emails lately – it’s been one of the casualties of my life these days.
I should try to get to sleep here, as I’ve put my body through the ringer enough today.
Oh, by the way, I hear the meeting went fantastic. I have a great team.

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